Dominic Save-the-Date's His Bachelor Party

From Dominic via email:

Yes, there's another bachelor party to go to.

No, it won't be close.

Yes, you will need to fly there.

No, not in a helicopter.

Yes, there will be gambling.

No, it won't be Vegas.

Yes, it will be in a foreign country.

No, it won't be Craplakistan.

Yes, it will be Montreal.

No, it won't be next month.

Yes, it will be after labor day. Tenatively, we're scheduled for the weekend of the 22nd of September.

No, it won't be too cold, you girl. Take a coat.

Yes, we may be also be celebrating Oktoberfest at the same time.

No, French Canadian people aren't as good at Oktoberfest as German people, but we're aren't going to Germany, now are we?

To which I replied:

Yes, I'm in.

No, I won't bring my wife.

Yes, I may actually talk to people on this trip.

No, not just Dixon.

Yes, talking may require alcohol.

No, I'm not sure if my passport is up to date.

Yes, I will check.

No, I don't want to write another No line.

Yes, I want to know why you got kicked out of the Leaders Club in 2006.

No, I still don't want another No line.

Yes, my internet went down so I'll just keep typing.

No, you can't stop reading.

Yes, you need to get instant messenger installed.

No, I don't care what type.

Yes, I have big hairy tech balls and can converse with any of them.

No, I won't talk about my big hairy tech balls on your bachelor party weekend.

Yes, I will talk about my big shaved balls.

No, you can't see them.

Yes, I'd like to post your msg to my blog.

No, you can't say no.

Last time Dominic was willing to take his Atlanta Friend on a trip (to Moab Utah for mountain biking) his Atlanta Friend was a socially-awkward introverted no-talking dork. But the cleansing power of time has forced him to forget this and invite me along. Dixon will be there this time. As will alcohol. So I may come out of my social shell a little more. Plus, and this is key, I've already spent some time with guys like Billy V. and Pat so I'm slightly more likely to converse with them. Not sure why I'm so socially awkward. I have theories that my Army Brat upbringing taught me, however unconsciously, to observe a group of people before interacting with them. Who knows. I suspect that I'll end up being just as aloof on this trip to Montreal... but with a much bigger hangover... and the stench of stripper boobies (do they smell?).

Congrats to Dominic for getting this party started. I'm definitely looking forward to getting really Xxxked up for a weekend... wait, is this blog public?... oh, Xxxt, I mean I look forward to seeing old friends and conversing about the wonder of marriage while quietly singing Kum-by-yah.

Dominic's message got us emailing Dixon who said:

Hello Joe and Dominic.

I am a little bit scared of going to Montreal with you two after the “Pink Lady”.

That is, combining skydivers, lots of alcohol, a wicked drug addict, the aforementioned adult facility, and a taxi makes for an interesting story. Throw in a nun, a diving horse, and 375 chinchilla pelts…and we have my expectations for Montreal. Ok, fair enough, it should be very fun.

Ah yes... I recall that Night Out on the Town. The "Pink Lady" he refers to is actually the "Pink Pony"... but we'll give it to him. (The link is to a map... why does pinkpony.com point to the Polo Ralph Lauren site?) The "wicked drug addict" wasn't so much an addict as a guy who loved drugs more than anything on Earth, got psycho crazy on party nights (a generous and selfless donation of endless entertainment and police involvement to all partygoers), sought out drugs immediately upon getting off a plane in a new locale and spent most days at least moderately high teetering on the edge of what would pass as general consciousness... but beneath the haze he really was a good guy. I'll have to re-up my chinchilla stores before the Montreal trip. I'm not sure where to find a nun, but I have an idea or two... don't they generally hang at churches?

See you in Montreal!