Social Media and the Social Dynamic, Sometimes No-Win

After many years of posting my life to the web I've noted some interesting real-world and virtual social dynamics that result. This post is about one of them.

Let's say I have a friend who I believe reads the blog. We meet in real life for coffee and start chatting. I'm about to discuss something I've done recently... let's say I went to a movie and wrote a long criticism of it.

So I'm at the coffee shop and I'm about to start discussing this movie I saw. Some questions pop into my mind.

Has my friend read my blog since I posted the criticism of the movie? If so, did they spend the time to read the criticism in detail?

I have to figure out how to proceed in the conversation. Here are my options:

1) Assume they have read it in detail. In this case I'd say something like "oh, like you heard me say on the blog" and then continue with more in-depth conversation. The problem is that this assumes that the person reads the blog all the time. I don't like this assumption. Assuming that somebody has read your blog tell them that you expect them to do so. It's too much like saying "well, of course I'm so awesome that you've obviously read my blog recently." Not my style.

2) Ask them if they've read it. But this puts them on the spot. Most people don't read each other's blogs nearly as much as they'd like. So saying they haven't read the blog in, say, the last week may make them feel like a bad friend. Which isn't true... they're not bad friends just because they haven't read the blog recently. The point here is that putting them on the spot isn't the best plan.

3) Assume they have *not* read it in detail. In this case I'd recount the movie criticism in person. The problem is that if they have read it then I'm wasting their time. But this is the option I almost always choose. If they've read it I expect them to jump in and say "yeah, I saw that on your blog" and then we can elevate to a more in-depth conversation.

Just some observation on the social interaction that happens when personal lives are posted publicly. No perfect option for how to proceed. It's usually not a huge issue but something that you have to keep an eye on.