Chasing Lightning, Finding Tornado

At 9:13 PM tonight I saw an odd storm on
Doppler radar. It was very red and very
compact. It was moving consistently
east/southeast. I decided to drive north
and chase it.

I'm a moron.

Not in the car for three minutes I hear on
the radio that a super-mega-thunderstorm-
alert is in effect north of the city where
I'm heading. They actually interrupt
programming with that annoying emergency
beeping sound. Instead of deterring me, it
encourages me... I'm on the right track.

The lightning gets very intense as I near
my target interception area. Huge booming
bolts crash all around me. Bolts that
could strike a man dead. So I pull off on
the side of the road, get out of the car
and start to get video of the storm.

Like I said... I'm a moron.

The wind starts to kick like Richard
Simmons at a Ben & Jerry's convention. The
lightning is fierce. I manage to capture
myself on film with a bolt of lightning.
I've tried this unsuccessfully many times.
It's clear that the center of the storm is
directly north of me. So I hop back onto
the highway and go north.

Not two hundred yards later I find myself
at a standstill on the highway. I hear a
dull moan but don't know what it is. I
have Metallica's Ride the Lightning playing
and I turn it up.

The dull moan is a tornado siren. I'm a
moron. Darwin is sharpening his pencil at
this point.

I hear on the radio that there is a tornado
warning. I see the wind getting strong.
There is now some hail. The lightning is
stronger than ever.

And I can't move an inch. I've gotten off
on an exit, hoping to turn around and head
south on I-85, but the traffic light isn't
working.

For a few minutes my heart rate is up. I
consider which car to ram if I see a
tornado approaching. My senses are alert.
I make a pattern to check out of all
windows... front, rear, left, right,
repeat. I wasn't just looking for a
funnel, but signs of a funnel. I hoped to
freak out before anybody else by seeing
something subtle. Survival of the
fittest. In traffic.

A few of us broke through the red light. I
soon find myself on I-85 south, heading to
safety, tornado sirens still roaring all
around me. Just to be safe I punch it up
to about 130mph... maybe because I think I
have a good excuse for the officer... maybe
because I really want to be far away from
the storm.

Not three minutes later there is little
trace of a storm.

I'm a moron.

And I love storms. Until the next one...

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