11 Month	9 Day	2002 Year
12 Hour	0 Minute	PM

Night Out on the Town

The plan was simple: invite some guys over
for a cookout, get drunk and head out for a
night on the town.

John had been drinking Wild Turkey all
day. When he arrived he became irate at
the walls and yelled at them through me for
a while. I had to physically restrain him
he was so upset at the walls. Or something
like that...

Dominic's plan was to enlighten me with
some Gin and Tonic. I was a willing
participant until I realized that gin
tastes like pine needles. So I drank
tequila all night.

By the time Jeremy arrived (all the way
from Augusta) I was plastered, John was
calmed down and it was getting dark.

Jeremy man-handled about 7 Guinness before
long. Eric, Tom and DJ Hero arrived with
some Red Bull and Vodka.

They took a self-guided tour and found John
in the closet. He had to change clothes
because he tried out for a part in the
upcoming Dumb and Dumber movie... long
story... so did Heather and Robin.

Everybody back down stairs we continued
talking. John decided to test the
structural integrity of the home by
introducing low frequency vibrational
poundings to the upstairs directly above
the kitchen.

His tests complete John continued with the
real business of the evening... drinking.
Dominic made some excellent hamburgers...
which John smashed and nobody ate. Not
sure what was up with that. Something
about them being moist.

DJ Hero brought in some tunes. We set up a
black light.

John decided that he needed some flour to
make cookies and asked me if I would drive
him to his friend's house to pick it up.
Being hammered, I declined. So he asked
Dominic if he could drive. Replying "Yes"
Dominic didn't know what he was getting
into. Luckily John assured everybody that
his friend's house was only 10 minutes away.

One hour and four shots of tequila later I
asked myself "where the heck's John?"

Eric and I cooked a steak. Eric, Tom and
DJ Hero planned their escape. They were
going back to Eric's kickass loft office to
watch movies on the 10 foot super screen.
The rest of us were up for it but were
concerned about John and Dominic.

We all stuck around for a while until John
got back and then let him bake some cookies.

Eric, Tom and DJ Hero took off. We
promised to be right behind them until we
realized that nobody could drive.

We called a cab. But John was having a
rough night. We wanted to be with him in
his time of need. He was still pissed at
the green walls. He wasn't sure whether
his structural test was successful. His
cookies were dry. He sniffed. He cried.

The rest of us knew that we had to take him
out for a night on the town. We couldn�t
leave him alone. So we headed outside to
wait for the cab.

Did I mention that the cab is already 30
minutes late? It is. So I call again.
It's on its way. Sure it is.

Sitting outside in the cul-de-sac we talk.
I bring a shot of tequila and shoot it.
This straw almost broke the camel's back.
Lots of spitting, but no puking.

The four of us decide to walk down to the
main road in case the taxi driver is lost.
We get halfway there when John realizes
that he left his wallet. He heads back.
We continue. Ten minutes later I get a
call from John... "Do you guys have my
wallet." "No."

Fifteen minutes later I get a call from
John... "Where is my wallet?" "I don't
know... kitchen, basement, bathroom?" I
reply.

We decide to walk back to the house.
John's wallet is sitting outside in the
middle of the street where we were
talking. Doh.

Finally the cab arrives at about 12:16AM.
We get in and head to the club. There were
lots of nice women at the club. We made
many new and interesting friends.

About 2:50AM we caught a taxi and headed to
the nearest Waffle House. I handled the
delicate negotiations with the taxi
driver. Ten dollars flat price to the
nearest Waffle House. Too bad I didn't
know the nearest Waffle House was all of 1
mile away.

We had a slight wait at WH. I snapped pics
of people. People threatened me and my
constitutional rights. It was a good time.

After many calories we headed out and
caught a taxi home. It was about 4:15AM.
I was beat. John was beat but he had more
of his cookies.

I fell asleep quickly.

joereger.com

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Night Out on the Town