It's not depression. Although if these feelings continued for months they'd qualify as depression. After a race I always tend to feel a bit melancholy. My mood's somewhat somber. I'm more reflective. Less aggressive about life in general. I'm not necessarily negative, although that can happen too. Over the years I've realized that it's not a coincidence that it happens after Ironman races and ultramarathons.
mel·an·chol·y [mel-uhn-kol-ee] 1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression. 2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
I used to think it was just the post-race letdown. After working for a goal for so long there could easily be a sense of "what now" afterwords. But this year I have Florida in 9 weeks and I'm amped up for it, having already done a run, bike and swim. So it's not simply a case of being lost.
The day after the race, while driving back to Atlanta, I was definitely melancholy, reflective, moody, whatever. Note that there was no rolling webcam and very few blog updates. Yesterday while traveling to San Antonio I was distracted and didn't feel melancholy... but I wasn't upbeat. Today, three days after the race I'm feeling fine again. I'm still a sarcastic jackass, of course... but that's par for the course.
[Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor.] It all probably has to do with depletion. The training build-up and race itself drain you of many of the brain chemicals that create positive emotions. In the course of a few days before the race you draw on all of your resources. During the race you pull out whatever's left. After the race the body is damaged. Energy systems are totally out of whack. Digestion is messed up. Sleep is off. Muscles are sore. Lungs are strained. It shouldn't be much of a surprise that emotions also take a hit... being happy requires a certain chemical balance in the brain.
Advice on how to deal with it? Don't talk to me. Oh, you mean how do you deal with *your* melancholy? Don't talk to me.
Lol. I don't think there's much you can do if you do experience it. I try to drink lots of fluids, get a lot of rest, eat a lot of protein and take my vitamins. I usually tell Heather that I'm gonna be moody the day after so that she knows what to expect. She still mocks me, of course... and who can blame her. Just knowing that the feelings are temporary and that they have a definite physical cause prevents me from reading too much into them.
Not sure if anybody else has or does experience this... let me know.
Update: I found this post titled Post-Ironman Depression from 2004! Totally different view of the situation. Note that I am clearly confused and don't want to accept the physical or mental effects from the race. Also note how cool it is that my blogging system automatically pulled this up for me and taught me something about myself.
Sunday, February 7, 2010