2 months 14 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
For a year or more I've tried to talk to Ava about money, earning, etc. Sometimes she seems to get it, sometimes she doesn't. Today we went full cycle.
Early in the day she wanted some toy. As I usually do I ask her whether or not she has any money. She didn't but was sure she could get some at the Piggy Bank. That's what Terp calls the real bank.
I assured her that we didn't have any money there but told her that she could do some work to earn some money. I've made it this far with her in the past. Normally I assign her some task, she starts it and abandons it two minutes later. Today I told her that if she cleaned her toy room to the point that I didn't see any toys on the ground I'd pay her.
As she started to clean I walked away fairly certainly that she'd be playing again in a matter of minutes. When I checked back in about 15 minutes she was still cleaning!
I gave her some guidance on how cleaning isn't the same as stuffing but generally applauded her efforts and reaffirmed that there was loot at the end of the work. I also commiserated with her that work is hard.
Finally she peeked her head into my office and said "I'm done." She walked me into the toy room and showed me the result. It wasn't perfect but it was clear that she had spent a lot of time cleaning. I agree to give her some money.
And I agreed to take her to the store to get a toy. We went as a family to Target.
She carried her $10 in her backpack. I worked with her a bit on the value of $10... i.e. that it can't buy anything. But in the end I didn't want to confuse her. I wanted her to understand that you work, you get money and then you can spend money. We'll work on saving and smart decisions later.
She picked out a toy and we carried it to checkout. We had Ava give her money to the cashier. She was shy about it but she did it! Big steps for an Ava!
I enjoyed the lesson of the day. Probably more than she did!
Later she showed me that she had really absorbed the lesson. She was asking me something and I said "well, we don't have any money to buy that" and she said "well, you need to stop doing little chores and you need to do big chores so you make lots of money."
Right on Aves... I totally need to get some big chores to do!
5 months 10 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Ava's teacher, Ms. Sherry, sent her home with a big outline of a scarecrow. Her assignment: decorate it. And that we did. On and off over the last week we colored, shopped and decorated it. The big deadline is tomorrow so Ava and I did our last minute leaf hunting, straw gathering and mass glue application tonight. We all pitched in and had a good time.
6 months 3 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Ava goes to Pre-K today. We've been talking up the wonders of school. Buying school supplies. Talking about Mrs. Sherry, her teacher. And Ava's excited, ready to roll.
But I was awake a good bit last night. I can't shake a guilty feeling. Ava is in for one of the most traumatic days of her life. She's going into it blind. It'll happen quickly, when we leave her there. Happy... then, boom, terror.
I can just see her whole world... her whole reality... going from "la la la fun playtime there's my goodah" to "who are these people i'm scared i don't know anybody i'm alone help me i want my goodah!"
I think she'll do fine after a few minutes of adjustment. Even have fun. I just know it's going to be very scary for her. I don't want to disappear or sneak out. I want to tell her that I have to leave to build trust. To make sure that her GooDah wasn't complicit in her scary day. But doing so will lead to her clinging and screaming, like she did at the swim lessons. Trust is a bigger issue though so I'll still tell her that I have to leave.
Probably a lot more traumatic for me. I'm sure she'll do just fine!
[pause]
Just now she burst through the door and gave me a big hug. We talked about her big day. I think she'll be fine! Yay Ava!
Update 9:02AM: We got to the parking lot, took some pictures and put on her new backpack. We were waiting for Frec and Dylan to arrive when I asked Ava if she just wanted to go in. To my surprise she said yes. Heather wasn't ready with Emme so I just grabbed her hand and started walking. Ava was excited to get in there.
As we neared the building there were a lot of people. She walked right through and in! We found Mrs. Sherry's room and walked in. There were already about ten kids in there. Ava wasn't super-clingy but she was sticking around me.
Mrs. Sherry showed us where to hang the backpack. Then she asked Ava if she wanted to play with the other kids. Ava didn't respond so I just said "go play with the other kids." She was tentative, looking back to me a lot, but she did head over to the pack of kids under Mrs. Sherry's guidance. Rock on.
At this point I could have slipped out. In fact, I had a clear sense that Mrs. Sherry wanted me to do so. But I wanted to make sure Ava knew I wasn't abandoning her. She was looking back about once every 30 seconds. I inched towards the door. And when she looked back at me I looked right at her, said "bye bye Aves", waved and walked out. It wasn't super quick. And I didn't see outright terror in her eyes. I saw apprehension. And I'm pretty sure she was upset once I was gone.
She did a great job! So proud of her! There'll be some scary moments for her today but I think she knows that Mrs. Sherry is her center for the time being.
Heather and I talked to Frec and Lance who were dropping Dylan off. Dylan, Mrs. Independent, didn't seem to care that her parents were dropping her and maybe even wanted them to leave a bit sooner!
Big day! A good day for Heather and me to be reflective. A good day for Ava to do a bunch of growing!
Update 12:49PM: She had a great day! Definitely more traumatic for the parents. She was smiling and happy when we picked her up. Had a bunch of stories about the day. Awesome!
6 months 15 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Big night for Ava. We've been talking about it for weeks. Her first trip to school to meet her teacher Mrs. Sherry! She did a great job... no drama or revolting. She just walked in, said hi and explored the room a bit. We like Mrs. Sherry... seems to have a genuine concern for the kiddos. There will be 12 in Ava's class. I feel a ton better seeing the school and meeting the teacher. Go Aves!
7 months 2 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Found a baby snake this morning while doing some yard work and kept it around for a while so that Ava could check it out. She enjoyed it, wanted to hold it and came pretty close to doing so. Terp thought he was cute. Emme wasn't given access to the snake for fear that she'd eat or otherwise maim it. Ditto cats of Bug. The snake didn't enjoy most of the process but did enjoy being released into a low traffic area of the woods.
7 months 7 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Ava's first big girl bike. She got it yesterday partly for her 4th birthday and partly for giving up her binky (kind of.) All last night she was talking about going out with GooDah on the "silber comet." This morning I hooked up the brakes, pumped the tires and the fam hit the Silver Comet for a midday heat ride. Bizarre emergency siren going off with barely a cloud in the sky. But then a big rush of wind blew in that had us checking weather through the phones. Odd. Ava did a great job and truly enjoyed riding her new bike. I loved seeing it. We took a break on some benches and then rode back. Yay Ava!
8 months 2 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
We took a fourth birthday pic! Ava came in to my room this morning and said "it's my birthday! now what happens?" Too cute! We've been talking to her about the Bink Fairy who's going to take all of her binks (pacifiers) on her fourth birthday and let's just say that it's top of mind for her. It's been an amazing four years watching Ava grow and we can't wait to celebrate!
8 months 14 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Ava asked me to tell her a story tonight. This is the first such request and I'm fairly certain my story about a blue dinosaur who went to Wal-Mart to buy Bitzel a birthday present wasn't the best premise. But she seemed to enjoy it. And then she told me a story about a little girl who draws pictures and covers a wall with them. She started it with "once upon a time." It was just too cute. I've got some story telling learning to do.
8 months 28 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Another session of rock skipping. And I did a bunch of weed pulling... about a 10ft x 40ft area... these little wooden stemmed suckers. The pictures are of Ava planting some of the ones I had already pulled.
8 months 29 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
One of Ava's favorite todos is rock skipping by the stream out back. We went for an excursion tonight. It's fun. We have a great section of the stream where I can skip a rock down a 500 ft section that's 35 or so feet wide... nice flat water. And since the rocks are from a stream they're already perfect skipping rocks.
What struck me tonight is how much fun it is to just hang out with Ava. I'm no longer watching her every single step to make sure she doesn't hurt herself. I'll skip my rocks. She digs in the sand and throws some of her own. I know where she is at all times, of course, but I'm not obsessing.
When she tires of rock skipping we usually wander around to another part of the stream or around to the front yard. Looking for ants. Bunnies. Whatever. It's cool hanging out with my daughter Ava.
9 months 21 hours ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
I lost a toenail on Tuesday (a casualty of running.) Ava was looking at it today and concluded that we'd need to go to the store to buy a toenail. I mean, why not? Wal-Mart has everything else, right? I've since explained that I just have to wait for my body to heal itself so now every time she sees it she tells me to just relax and wait a looooonnnnggg time for it to fix itself.
9 months 6 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Whenever Ava doesn't like something or the effect of something she'll say that she wants to throw it out. At bedtime I'll tell her that it's time to go to sleep because the sun is going down and she'll tell me that she wants to throw out the sun. When she didn't want to be at the office she told Beep she wanted to throw out the office. She told us a few days ago that she wants to throw out the house.
I ask her where she'll find a trash can large enough to throw out these things. She doesn't yet grasp the size/volume thing yet. I figure that once the light bulb goes off she'll stop saying it or she'll laugh at it. She often says things that she knows are completely impossible just to get a laugh.
It's cute and is just her way of learning to deal with frustration.
The worst is when she looks right at me and says "I want to throw GooDah out." Ouch kiddo!
11 months 9 hours ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
My mom's in town (along with Sara) so we're heading to the Sundial restaurant for some lunch.
Me: "We're going to see Mimi at the Sundial restaurant." Ava: "Is it big?" Me: "Yeah. And it rotates 360 degrees way up high and has a great view of the city." Ava (excitedly): "Does it have alligators?"
Too cute! Looking forward to seeing mom and Sara. And Jessi's heading down from UGA to visit too.
11 months 4 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
That Ava is four is intimidating for a couple reasons.
You see, the first memory that most people have takes place around the age of four. To date it's been kind of nice to think of everything we did as "pre-season." Of course, it's not... but there's something different about knowing that anything I say could become part of Ava's lifelong record.
Kids can't distinguish between dreams and the real world until around the age of four. It's been nice to think "hey, she'll just think it was a dream... I didn't drop that plate."
When I was living in Italy between the ages of 4 and 7 I got a book about Astronomy. I don't know exactly when it was... closer to 4 or closer to 7... so I usually think of it as being earlier "just in case." That book sparked and intense interest in space. I remember being in a car seat thinking about the moon and sun, correcting my friend's parental unit when she said something incorrect about space. By the age of six I was saving for a telescope which I would use to buy binoculars when we made it back to the states ('scopes are expensive when you earn a nickel at a time.) I used my binoculars to look at stars. A few years later I got a telescope and saw Halley's Comet with my mom.
My interest in space naturally morphed into an interest in all things science. At the age of 14ish I had a subscription to Scientific American. Computers were scientific so when my father started talking about them I wanted to jump in. By 4th grade one of the highlights of my Ft. Leavenworth, KS life was talking to my neighbor about subroutines... he was a slightly older geek whose knowledge in such things was impressive to me.
This interest in science led me to join the physics program at Georgia Tech. And my interest in computers got me involved in the intertubes.
It's not a big leap to see that the book I got at the age of 4ish had a huge impact on the course of my life. Would I have naturally gravitated towards science anyway? Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. I just know that there was a definite link between that book and the course of my life.
So here I am with an almost 4 year old daughter. What am I doing to shape her future? What book will inspire her? Or will it be a song? Or a building? Or a vacation?
While I understand fully the futility of trying to plan or predict such things, it does make me think a good bit about the impact we have on our kids. I usually conclude that I should be doing more. I don't want to bias her... I want her to choose her path. But I do want to make available lots of things that she might find interesting.
On the clock, time to help Ava find some inspiration!
11 months 14 days ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
Yesterday Ava got a runny nose. This morning she's feeling pretty sick. Sore throat and all. Poor little bugger. I just hope we didn't infect Monie, Stan or Tine! Good news is that we know these germs didn't come from a birthday party!
After her baths Ava has a set of animal-themed towel wraps. One of our favorites is the giraffe. When she has it on she'll say "GooDah, I'm not Bitzel, I'm BitzelRaffe!"
Ava's on the computer all the time these days. It wasn't long ago that we downloaded her first Dora the Explorer game. She could barely use the mouse. Over the course of a day or two she figured out clicking. Then clicking and dragging. Then clicking and dragging with more and more precision.
Because mommy often uses the same computer for spreadsheets, Ava needed to know how to move such useless things out of the way. So we taught her the close window button. And then the Start menu to launch her game.
We downloaded her second game (Wonderpets) and paid a subscription for something like five more. She seems to be enjoying Wonderpets well into the third week. They have a leveling concept where you can't get to some things until you progress through the game. Each teaches a new skill and is a new adventure. I didn't think she grasped that concept until one day she proudly pulled me out of my room to show me that "all the boxes are color"... which is to say none were greyed out and unclickable any more. Blew my mind. And seeing her pride and excitement warmed my heart.
I've already reported how she blew my mind surfing Heather's picture blog. She scrolls up and down the page, clicks on images she likes, looks at the zoomed version and then closes the popup window. She went through this cycle four or five times giving me a narrative the whole way. Amazing to have my daughter showing me a blog.
Last week she was watching Lazy Town when they mentioned a game. She said "GooDah, I want that" and pointed to the screen. If you work in advertising at Noggin, well played. So I headed upstairs, fully expecting to pay $9.99 for the game. Much to my surprise noggin.com has a ton of free content and games. Right there on the homepage was a link to the Lazy Town game.
Ava loved it and started asking for it. I tried to set up a link on the desktop so that she could open it whenever she wanted. But something's broken on that computer so desktop links don't work. Which turned out to be a good thing because I've taught her to open a browser and look for a favorite to start her game up.
Now she surfs the noggin.com site with ease. Heather remarked that she was surprised how facile Ava is on the site. I spent a while watching her tonight. She is amazing. Unlike my usage of the internet which is often utilitarian, her usage is exploratory. She'll mouse over anything and has no preconceived notion of what is clickable and what's not. When a flash box pops up she'll mouse over everything to get the lay of the land and then she'll dive in. She understands the notion of user interface commonality... i.e. that the Wubzy section has the same three options (Games, Video, Radio) that the Dora section has. Once she figured one out she figured them all out.
She knows all of the characters and sings along with all of their theme songs. It's cute. She tells me about Wubzy while she guides his wackyfruit collecting craft ahead of the dinosaur. She asks if the music she's hearing is coming from Diego's on-screen radio.
I'm amazed how quickly she's progressed with the computer. I think it's time to start adding more typing elements to the mix now that she's got basic mouse navigation down. Kids are just awesome.
And for the record, mommy's a fan of Lazy Town's Sportacus. Like, a big fan. I'll leave it at that.
In the middle of a perfectly normal evening the security alarm that came with the house started to scream at a billion decibels as Ava cautiously stepped off the pink foot stool she had moved under it for the express purpose of pushing the pretty buttons.
I was on my computer and immediately jumped up to see what was happening. The keypads were unresponsive, assuming I was an intruder. I have no idea what the code is. After a couple minutes unplugging the batteries I found a 1-800 number for Brinks and called it.
Guys don't like rtfm'ing or calling for help but debilitating sound has a way of convincing us.
The very nice guy talked me through the process of turning the thing off. Unfortunately the installer didn't do things normally so I had to interpret many instructions and eventually treated myself to a nice 110v shock.
As my body became Wow! Wow! Wubzy! I heard beeps throughout the house. And now our heating and air conditioning system is stuck reporting temp in Celsius.
My main concern was for the kids' ears. We put them into a bathroom (they were just about to take a bath anyway.) And they seemed content and happy.
Afterwords Ava said "I don't want to push that button again." Too cute. We assured her it wasn't her fault.
1 year 4 months ago | Posted to: Ava, Our Daughter
The pic attached to this post is Ava crashed out in the back seat of the car on the way home from the hospital. She was up all last night.
Yesterday she went to a birthday party at one of those air jump places... Monkey Joe's... out in Douglasville. When she got home she seemed subdued to me and I concluded that she was sick or something. A couple hours later, past her bedtime, she was fidgety and wouldn't settle down. We generally assumed that the cake she ate at the party and the milkshake she got coming home gave her a sugar rush. She doesn't eat a lot of sugar and we expect her to be a wild child when she does.
Terp stayed up for a couple more hours watching tv with her. At about 11:30p she was still up. Terp noted that her breathing was quick and that at times she took big deep breaths. I checked her pulse and it was 124bpm sitting still. Toddlers have higher heart rates than adults. At 124bpm she wasn't off the charts but it certainly wasn't normal. I also noticed that her pulse felt very strong where I took it on her wrist... like her heart was pumping hard. Her pupils were responsive. She kept moving her hands all over the place.
At that point we figured she got into some caffeine at the party. Coca Cola or similar. Maybe somebody made the cake with some sort of cocoa that had caffeine in it.
She was up all night with only a short rest around 4a. At 5:30a we headed to Scottish Rite Children's Hospital. Ava was wide awake through all of the check-in stuff and nurses collecting vitals.
When we described the birthday party to the doc he asked if we thought there could have been cocaine present. Yes, there could have been. These party places are run by low wage college kids and this was Douglasville. No disrespect to Douglasville but it's known as a meth and drug area.
The doc wanted to get a heart scan, some urine and some blood. First nurse to arrive was for the heart scan. "No thank you," said Ava, forcefully. She went fairly erratic from there forward. Lots of yelling. Hiding. Stuff that isn't really Ava. Normally she'll say "no thank you" and then you can talk to her about it. She wasn't having any of it and was essentially freaking out. She didn't want to take off her shirt. Didn't want to take a picture of her heart. Didn't want to get healthy. Etc. The nurse eventually backed out and got the doc to agree to not do the imaging.
Next up was blood. The room was hectic with two nurses, two parents and two kids. Emme and I went for a walk just outside the door. Little Aves yelled and cried a lot but they eventually got the blood. Poor little rat.
By this time it's about 8:30a and Ava needs to pee into a cup. She's not having any of it and is still amped up like crazy. We're trying to get her to drink water but she won't. An hour goes by and we can't get her to drink or pee. The nurse comes in and tells us that they may have to put a catheter in. Ava apparently understood and decided to pee. Finally. Nurses cheered when she did.
So then we wait for a while. Doc comes back. Positive for amphetamines. "In 20 years this is a first," he said. Great. While the doc only mentioned amphetamines we learn later that the positive test only indicated a stimulant, not amphetamine specifically. Could be speed, cocaine, meth, adderol or any of a number of other prescription/illicit drugs.
Bottom line is that Ava will be fine. The drug will run its course. She's starting to get to sleep right now (although her tired eyes do pop wide open every couple minutes.)
A social worker came in to talk to us. We asked her to report it to the police. The Douglasville police called me after we got home. I don't want other families to be at risk.
Ava's very good about not eating strange things. She'll barely drink anything besides water and cold milk. We asked her 20 times throughout the night, in various ways, "did you eat any candy off the floor?" or "did anybody give you anything?" or "did you take any vitamins?" She says she didn't.
What likely happened is this. Parents/adults are allowed into the air jump things. One of them had some meth, coke, speed or other drug on them and when they jumped some of it fell out and got onto the surface. Ava got it onto her hand and absorbed it or later ate something that rubbed it. At this point we have no proof, of course. But the three calls I've gotten from the police mean that at least somebody's looking into it. And we'll do whatever we can to provide names, descriptions and details about anybody who may have been in the air jumps. Security cameras. Monkey Joe's employee records. Do these places do background checks? Drug checks?
I feel some anger right now. But I can't direct it to anybody. And it's not the sort of anger that I'd actually act on. It's frustration anger. Pity, almost. That some people are such bad parents that having drugs around their own kids seems acceptable. That some people are such bad citizens that having drugs around my kids seems acceptable.
I feel some fear right now. That even with her mom watching over her Ava can get hurt.
Strange things happen in the world and it doesn't mean the world is a bad place. Mostly I'm just glad that Ava's going to be ok. Even on stimulants she's a little sweetheart who hugs her DooDah, makes jokes and smiles a lot. Hopefully she can get some much-deserved rest. Poor little rat.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
